An Editor To Publish Obituary! Four Months Since Passing.

"If you think positive and pursue action in the course of that positivity, positive things will happen." –Me.

Grieving the loss of my father wasn't easy. I took it pretty hard.  He was one of my best friends and we were always together. We were a very very close family. Sure he had his quirks, but thats what made him unique.  I was so upset that I didn't have the money to publish a formal obituary in time for my father's funeral but the fact was that it was simply too expensive given the exorbitant cost of his final expenses and medical bills.  We are a family of modest means and my dreams of having a fancy obituary with his photograph in the San Francisco Chronicle fizzled when I was given the price tag.

All hope was lost.

Well maybe not all hope.  I have been getting some positive support from a friend and mentor who's mentorship I consider invaluable.  From a distance, she did little things to brighten up my grieving self.  She sent the largest bouquet of weeping lilies  that I have ever seen.  It was the absolute first bouquet of flowers to arrive and it took its place rightful place in front of the podium near Dad's casket. When I read the card, that it was sent from Los Angeles from one of my University of California fellow alumni, I broke down in tears.  No friend had sent me love from that far away before, and I admired her heart. I'm going off on a tangent, in case you didn't notice, but I had to mention it.  But like the flowers, she from afar off–again Los Angeles, sent me numerous messages and manuscripts rooted in positivity and pure loving support.

A couple of months from my Dad's passing, I get a package in the mail. The postmark and address reads Los Angeles.  It's from her again.  This time she sends an inspiring video about the power of positive thinking, which is something we had been practicing and talking about together for a while now since our time together in Southern California.  But it was wonderful to get this new refreshing perspective which seemed to empower me and was just what I needed to lift my spirits up.

I thought about the obituary again.  Grey clouds. Then, a sudden ray of light, a glimmer of hope.  It hit me.  Everything that I learned from my friend, our conversations, the literature, the video, her kindness and caring enough to reach out...there had to be a way to get an obituary published somehow for someone like me who just out of college was knee deep in college debt.  I was determined to keep it positive and find a way.

Sure enough, I receive a sad email that a fellow patient with ALS recently passed away.  I contacted the family to express my sincerest condolence at the loss of this amazing Italian father and husband at the hands of ALS.  I spoke with the son for about an hour, sharing stories, comparing notes and reveling in the fact that we were both part of the University of California network. It's at this point that I mentioned that I read his father's obituary in the paper and that it was so touching to me and that I regret not having my own father's obituary published. He too mentioned to me that he was of a family of modest means and that the paper that published his father's recent obituary–published it for free.

Bingo.

We exchanged information and he put me in contact with the editor of the paper that published the obituary as a courtesy for those living in our county. I contacted the editor right away and explained that I was four months into my father's passing and that I couldn't afford an obituary at the SF Chronicle and sure enough he said that he would publish it for me, service to residents of our county.  I've got to be honest, I haven't read their paper often enough to notice there was an obituary column.  Now that I've got my obituary published however, I will be an avid supporter of the paper.  Maybe a donor someday if I make it big.

Affirmation:  Today, I am grateful for those people who have come into my life as if by coincidence, like an angel from above, come down to ease the suffering of a tender soul.  For those of you who know who you are, you are loved and appreciated. Thank you for nourishing my spirit.




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